Naiman Labs Newsletter #36. The power of definitions

Hi friends! Welcome to the new issue of Naiman Labs newsletter.

Today, I want to address a topic that has been on my mind a lot recently. As I scroll through LinkedIn posts and comments, I often come across heated debates on various subjects and it’s often happens not because people express their opinion without even trying to understand the other side, but because they do not agree on definitions of the topics they are discussing.

This reminds me of my consulting experience, where intense conversations with clients were quite common. We frequently found ourselves trying to explain the same concepts from different angles and having heated debates, however at the end of the day we realised that we were often talking about the same thing simply using different words and definitions.

A similar situation unfolded at work just a few weeks ago. I found myself in an intense discussion with my boss about compensation approach in our company. We were both actively presenting our points of view, and we agreed on a lots of things, however one talking point remained unresolved. It was only later, during our next meeting, that I circled back to the conversation and asked my boss, "What exactly do you mean when you refer to a salary increment?" In that moment, it became evident that we had absolutely different understanding even though we were using the same term. After providing the definition within minutes, we reached a mutual understanding and came to an agreement.

I'm a member of various HR communities on LinkedIn and Telegram, and I witness debates like this nearly every day. Professionals from diverse backgrounds engage in heated arguments, attempting to prove their points. More often than not, they are not in agreement on the fundamental definitions at the core of their discussions. Sometimes, this leads to comical situations, but at other times, it results in unnecessary and unhealthy debates, creating tension.

This scenario is not uncommon. It's one of the most significant communication pitfalls we face. We often forget about the importance of clearly defining our terms. And often just think that our communication partners by default have the same understanding as we have.

I think we can all learn a lot from science here. In all the scientific research definitions play a huge role. I remember when I was writing my PhD thesis I spent at least 20% of the time tidying and clearing up the definitions.

A simple question like "What do you mean by X?" can align you with your communication partner. Alternatively, you can ask, "Can you provide a definition for X?" In my experience, revisiting a discussion with a focus on definitions can be quite productive. Same thing can be applied to your presentations - clarify all the important terms in the beginning, so everyone who listens or who reads your presentation will get the same meaning of the terms as you have.

The same issue can frequently arise in the workplace. As professionals, we come from different backgrounds, and if you work in a multicultural environment, the challenge intensifies. In such cases, you may need to translate terms and definitions into various languages.

In the midst of a heated debate or intense conversation, it's crucial not to hesitate. Simply ask, "What exactly do you mean when you say X, and how do you define it?" Don't be afraid to appear inquisitive or inexperienced. On the contrary, you demonstrate your readiness to engage in discussion, collaborate, and find common ground. Plus, in case you encounter an unfamiliar term, you'll have an opportunity to learn something new. 😉